You would think that taking tiny little steps would seem so trivial. Not true! It is better to take many small steps in the right direction, than none at all. Keep moving and you will pass obstacles that have defeated you before. Even if you don’t see results right away, don’t give up, because every small step you make towards that goal is affecting you in ways you would never imagine. — Brigitte Nicole, Lessons Learned In Life
At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be. — Unknown
“What a absolutely beautifully designed planner. I cannot wait to start using it. Love it so much I plan on buying some as Christmas gifts . I love the uplifting quotes and the stunning artwork. This planner just makes me smile.” — C. Burgos, customer review on Amazon
Thank you for your insight… makes me think!!! I don’t do the underarms tho!!!
The year is 2014. You are a white Western woman. You wake up in the morning in a comfortably sized house or flat. You have a full or part-time job that enables you to pay your rent or mortgage. You have been to school and maybe even college or university as well. You can read and write and count. You own a car or have a driver’s licence. You have enough money in your own bank account to feed and clothe yourself. You have access to the Internet. You can vote. You have a boyfriend or girlfriend of your choosing, who you can also marry if you want to, and raise a family with. You walk down the street wearing whatever you feel like wearing. You can go to bars and clubs and sleep with whomever you want.
Your world is full of freedom and possibility.
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<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” lang=”en”><p>Plenty of signed books from our favorite <a href=”https://twitter.com/aamhc”>@aamhc</a> MHC Alum <a href=”https://twitter.com/DebHarkness”>@DebHarkness</a>! <a href=”http://t.co/KGCTnPtRTZ”>pic.twitter.com/KGCTnPtRTZ</a></p>— Odyssey Bookshop (@odysseybks) <a href=”https://twitter.com/odysseybks/statuses/489988207753568256″>July 18, 2014</a></blockquote>
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These have to be added to my reading list… My favorite reading place is in bed… but I keep falling asleep!!! This is not, however, a reflection on the reading material… but rather and indication of how comfy my bed is… and how much I love it!!! Now turn the page!
Ms Elmer is totally awesome!!! Civil Disobedience is alive and thriving in Harrogate!!!
It’s been a very long time since I last committed an act of civil disobedience but, as you can see, the poster was totally asking for it.
This is not the first time I have seen this particular poster. We’ve met on several occasions, exchanging glances across the short distance outside of a multistory car park. It tempted me, I know it. The insidious, misogynist message. The graphic imagery straight out of 1950s era pulp fiction cover art. The victim-blaming propaganda pouring from its tight-fitted lamination.
This poster was totally asking for it.
Of course, before its final desecration, I had to make it understand just what it had done wrong. But that would be selfish…
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BLOG 5 Jul 2014
My SHO appointment. My Thoughts!
On Thu 26 Jun 14 I had an appointment with the SHO Psychiatrist Dr. Sam Beeson. This is how I felt…
The nagging nibble of anxiety has been devouring for a week. I know that the SHO appointment is today. I compiled my thoughts… and this time I would insist she read it. I have not seen Dr. Sam before. Gil my cpn (psychiatric nurse) had told me that Dr. Sam was lovely. However based on previous doctors I really didn’t hold out too much hope! I could not have been more wrong.
I made a note of things I wanted to discuss… with my own idea of how to tackle these concerns.
Wendy’s will. === call Christine, Social Worker
To see Gil === weekly – to stay on top of self-improvement work. Being concerned that I would not see her until July 15, which would be 5 weeks!!!
How my small obsessions – block out life… Cross such, mathdoku, and now sewing!!! In front of TV. Which Gil called me on at out last visit
Whether to switch to Seroquel XL (to have slow release over 24 hours) === good discussion but we decided that since I am basically happy with it, to add the anti depressant. Low dose Anti depressant. She likes Sertraline 50g. 2\3 wks … And then we can see the difference it makes.
That morning it was 0322. Despite being in bed for an hour and half my brain is buzzing so I may as well try and get some out
… Knowing that I have to go to the doc has been winding me up for the past week.
… To the point of borderline anxiety attack the past 36 hours
… Hence the uncomfortableness at times during the day
… So knowing that things are not all that they can be….
… No routine
…knowing that I am just letting myself down
…Hating myself, altho that is a harsh word
…Thinking that this is it… But knowing that it shouldn’t be
…Feeling like it is just too much effort
… And this is just not good enough
… Not liking myself
*** Loving Laura for telling me that I am depriving the world of me…. (Two weeks ago!!! Which is how time has flied… I totes missed seven days.
– that I am special, I have a lot to offer. I care, I have wisdom, funny. I’m fabulous coz I called her immediately!
(This was a day when I drank leaded coffee smoked and lost my appetite. Spent day in front of computer and got lost in the Castle!!)
…Feeling sad when I think about it that I am not enjoying life….
…Or getting pleasure out of life \stuff
…Now I am starting to be bored with my dull days.
… So realizing that I still have the same issues that I was working on 15 years ago…. (Actually clearing out papers!)
turn over a new leaf!!! Again!!!
It’s ‘nice’ to hear the birds cheeping. It’s 0338. My intestines are gurgling…. Hmmm chocolate cake!!!
… Actually I frequently wonder why I do this to myself… … Why I have to be this way…
…Well does it have to be this way?
…How hard must I struggle to maintain happy contentment, self satisfaction????
God, Higher Power whomever you are wtf is going on???
… took a little break… but my brain was restive!
0348 shouldn’t I have it down pat, together by know? I mean knowing and doing are two different things.
… (After all I have been in therapy on and off since 1986.)
… Which is where the daily routine and goals comes in
… Daily affirmations and the subliminal stuff
… Shoot I have got all these resources I can well need to use them!
Check out the pressure/trigger words! I have used in this little monolog.
The things that I know I can work on (into) my days are:-
Knowing bad foods
Make my space happy
Dr Sam had me complete a couple of mental status questionnaires. Also it is interesting to learn that the two local health care services have merged. They will now be keeping track of individual patients and their Mental Health status.
PHQ9. Form says moderately depressed.
GAD7 says mild depressed.
I had only just introduced myself and then gave her my update. She said “Oh I like you!”
Then when it was time to leave – I said “doesn’t dealing with troubled people make you depressed?” She laughed… I gave her a hug goodbye!!!
I was really surprised when she offered me an appointment in 10 days to check-up on me! I left feeling so relived and much more contented with life overall.
My next blog will be about how the past week or so has gone. Since starting the Sertraline… and how I worry and monitor my mood level viz a viz going into a Manic Episode … as you know this can be triggered when and anti-depressant is added to your regimen.